


Blue is the Tender Soul

by Timid_Timbuktu



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Aesir!Loki, Angst, Emotional Manipulation, Jotun!Loki, Loki has a naughty mouth, M/M, Marking, Mild sadomasochism, Possessive Behavior, Post-Avengers, Rough Sex, Temperature kink, seriously Loki says naughty words that might offend some
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-09
Updated: 2013-05-09
Packaged: 2017-12-10 22:00:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/790649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Timid_Timbuktu/pseuds/Timid_Timbuktu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Thor asks Loki to help him save Jane and Frigga after they are captured by Malekith, he knows that Loki will fight him every step of the way. Although Thor is ready for Loki’s lies, nothing can prepare him for the freezing touch of Loki’s jotun skin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue is the Tender Soul

“Tell me, _brother,_ what is it about this mortal? Why is she so special?”

“I would have your silence,” Thor mutters, refusing to look back at Loki as they trudge through the snowdrifts. 

In their youth, they had gone on many adventures, spent weeks alone together, getting into and out of trouble and then laughing about it around a campfire. But this journey feels like their longest. 

At every turn, Loki has chipped away at Thor’s resolve to remain calm and focused. At first, when Thor had been waiting for Loki’s inevitable betrayal, Loki had responded with laughter that was more playful than malicious. It was too similar to the Loki that Thor remembered and without intending to, Thor had let his guard down. That was when Loki had descended into cruel mockery, slicing Thor with his words, bringing him to the edge of violence only to retreat back into smirking silence when Thor’s hand tightened around Mjolnir.

After countless cycles, Thor finally decided to fight Loki with silence. He has never been overly good at ignoring Loki, but it is obvious that his brother craves attention, and Thor is tired of feeding into it.

“I wonder,” Loki says, “when the time comes, will you choose to save this mortal bitch over Mother?”

Thor takes a deep breath and keeps walking. They are still a long way from their goal, the palace in the mountains of Svartalfheim where Malekith is holding Frigga and Jane.

“I wonder, what did this slattern do to you during your short stay on Midgard to make her more important than all of Asgard?”

Thor’s foot slips slightly in the snow, pulling a dark chuckle from Loki. He probably thinks he is getting to Thor.

“I cannot imagine she has a tongue more glorious than mine, _Odinson_.”

 _Just keep putting one foot in front of the other,_ Thor tells himself. Of course Loki will bring up the past, that dark night on Alfheim centuries ago when Thor first gave into his desires, pushing Loki to his knees and putting that talented tongue to a use other than lying.

“Am I to believe that she can suck you dry, that a mere mortal can swallow all of your seed and still leave you panting for more?” 

Thor tries not to listen, but his cock twitches involuntarily.

“Can you even use her as you desire or do you have to treat her like a precious vase, something delicate that might break at any moment?”

Without realizing it, Thor’s hand tightens around his hammer.

“Do you have to play nice with her, Thor? Do you tell yourself that you enjoy it, making delicate _love_ to this sweet mortal? Do you actually believe your own lie, that the mighty Thor does not prefer to rut violently, to scratch and beat and make his lovers bleed?”

Thor mutters under his breath, causing Loki to sidle up behind him, “What was that, _brother_ , I didn’t quite catch it?”

Thor rounds on him so abruptly that Loki almost crashes into him. Surprise quickly dissolves into condescension as Loki glances from Mjolnir to Thor’s glaring face. Thor knows that he shouldn’t react to Loki’s taunting, but his rage and annoyance are too great to ignore.

“Why would I prefer a violent, unfeeling fuck to making love to a beautiful woman?” Thor asks.

“Why indeed?”

“Fine, Loki, you have my attention. Out with it so we can put an end to this and be on our way.”

“To save your precious mortal.”

“And Mother, or do you forget why you agreed to come?”

Loki disregards Thor’s words, “Out of all of the mortals you’ve bedded, what it so special about this one? Does her pussy drip gold?”

Thor steps toward him, raising Mjolnir, but Loki doesn’t budge. He has never been afraid of Thor because he’s never been afraid of pain. Rather, he seems to welcome it.

“You will not speak of her with such vulgarity.”

“Ooh, don’t tell me it is _love_?” he spits the word with contempt.

When Thor doesn’t respond, Loki chuckles and finally steps back, but Thor can see the pain behind Loki’s eyes and hear the lie in his laughter.

“You actually _love_ her?” He hisses viciously and Thor can see the cracks opening up, showing the true emotions below Loki’s façade, “After three days on Midgard, you fell in love with this _cunt_?”

Faster than lightning, Thor reaches out and grips Loki’s arm roughly, dragging him forward until his body is flush against Thor’s, “And what would you care if I do love her? Aren’t you above sentimental feelings like love? You neither have them nor desire them, so why condemn my feelings for Jane?”

Loki’s eyes blaze, his mouth tensing into a hard line as he rips his arm free from Thor and puts the distance of a step between them.

“If Malekith does not succeed in killing her, I will,” Loki hisses, tilting his head down and glaring at Thor.

Laughter surely isn’t what Loki expects in response to his cruel promise, but Thor cannot stifle it. Loki has long been both praised and censured for his skill in lying, but the ease with which Thor can pull the truth from his tongue is the reason they continue this dance, circling each other endlessly.

“Really, brother?” Thor asks, stepping toward Loki with a knowing smile, satisfied when Loki steps back, “And what if I do love her? Do you think I will ever forgive you for killing the woman I love?”

“Do you think I care?”

“Yes,” Thor responds simply, reaching out to caress Loki’s cheek, his fingers brushing only through the cold air when Loki takes a few more steps away from him.

Loki finally stops a few feet from Thor, his eyes dark and unreadable. Thor wants to reach for him again, feel his toned flesh beneath his fingers, but this game is Loki’s and it is by his rules that they play.

Finally the cool, calm mask covers Loki’s face again and he steps gingerly around Thor and continues hiking up of the icy slope without a word. To anyone else it would seem like a victory, but Thor knows Loki too well. He may occasionally win a battle of words against his brother, but he never wins the war. Loki will punish him for this later, but since they are finally moving again, Thor will not complain.

 

~ ~ ~

 

For hours they journey in silence until finally they reach the top of the slope and gain their first glimpse of the huge craggy palace, sitting atop a mountain in the distance, dimly illuminated by moonlight. There are at least two more snowy valleys to traverse, at least another day of walking, maybe two. The sun set hours ago, and the chill of night is beginning to settle in. They must rest. Thor spots a rocky outcrop to their left that looks to harbor a cave and heads toward it, not speaking to Loki but satisfied to hear his soft footsteps following.

The cave is bigger than expected, with a few openings in its ceiling, a perfect place to build a fire and eat dinner. In the dark of night, at this distance, Thor is certain that the dark elves won’t notice a small tendril of smoke rising from this tiny rock outcrop.

He removes his pack and pulls out some of their dried meat and bread, halving it and holding it out to Loki. There is a moment of hesitation in which Loki seems ready to refuse just to be ornery, but his hunger seems to win, because he snatches the food from Thor’s grasp, careful not to touch him. He sits down along the adjacent wall of the cave and begins to eat. Thor pulls his cape around his shoulders and tries to hide his shivering, hoping the food will warm his body.

Thor would light a fire if he had wood, he certainly knows how, but they left the forest two days ago, and there is nothing to burn. He glances at Loki, waiting for him to start a fire with his _seidr_ , but his companion merely gazes at the floor, taking small, delicate bites of bread.

Thor now realizes how Loki plans to pay him back.

“I would appreciate a fire, brother,” he says, knowing that it is futile.

“Then be my guest and light one.”

“You know that without _seidr_ , I need wood to start a fire.”

“Ah, and now the mighty Thor needs something from his weak, lying brother. I wonder, how will he entice me to give him what he desires? Will he use kindness or violence?”

“Wouldn’t you also prefer a fire, Loki?” Thor asks, sighing.

“Misplaced reasoning, then?” Loki smiles and rises to his feet, placing his food on a flat rock next to him. For one brief, happy, delusional moment Thor thinks Loki is going to light a fire, that its green flames will soon fill this cave and breathe warmth back into Thor’s tired muscles. But instead Loki unbuttons his leather jacket, tilting his head downward and gazing at Thor through his lashes. Thor swallows too loudly and watches, blood rushing to his groin. Loki strips, slowly and elegantly, until he is wearing nothing but his black leather breeches. He pulls the tie from his hair, shaking his head as his ebony curls cascade across his bare shoulders.

Thor’s cock twitches and for a second he forgets the chill lapping at his sore muscles. It has been years since he has seen this much of Loki’s body, hairless and beautiful. Even that last time, the night before Thor’s coronation, Loki had not removed his clothes when he had come to Thor’s room. He’d pushed Thor onto the bed and used that talented tongue to milk every last orgasm from Thor’s body. When Thor had tried to reciprocate, tried to strip Loki, he had merely pushed him back onto the bed and carried on, whispering delicious words about worshipping the future king. Thor had been too drunk and happy to hear the bitterness behind Loki’s words, but looking back on that night, Thor could see how the evening had been Loki’s way of punishing Thor, of showing him how much control he had on the future king. How many times had he sucked Thor toward orgasm, only to hold back and whisper filthy naughty things in Thor’s ear, forcing Thor to beg, making him cry out Loki’s name? 

Thor eventually lost count of his orgasms and fell into the oblivion of sleep, feeling an odd aching sadness when he awakened alone in his bed the following morning. He had hoped to find Loki’s naked form next to him like he often did after these trysts. He loved to dance his fingers along that soft, flawless skin, relishing the unguarded expression that would greet him when Loki opened his eyes. For one brief moment upon waking, Loki would smile, content to be in Thor’s arms, before the shutters would close and one of his masks would slide back across his features. 

Loki is presently wearing his mask of smirking satisfaction as he sits back down, lounging against the cold rock wall of the cave and taking a bite of dried meat.

“Monsters like me don’t need fires. I’m quite comfortable actually,” Loki says without emotion.

Thor stills and considers his next words carefully. They’ve only discussed Loki’s true ancestry once, on that rocky outcrop in Midgard. Afterward Thor knew that he had messed up that conversation, although he still isn’t sure how. He has wanted to discuss Loki’s true heritage many times since then, but he knows that it is Loki’s conversation to start and his place to wait.

For better or worse, it seems that Loki is choosing to discuss it now, on their journey across the cold wastes of Svartalfheim, the night still thick with their earlier arguments.

“Then I will assume that you started the fire last night simply for my comfort, and for that I should have thanked you,” Thor says, pulling his cape tighter around his body.

“Ah, but the mighty Thor does not ask _or_ thank. He demands, and then hits things with his hammer when his demands are not met.”

“If you do not wish to light a fire, I will make do without one,” Thor mutters, hoping that he can somehow convince Loki to light a fire, but too tired to fight. The chill is beginning to nip at his toes.

Loki simply chuckles and watches Thor intently as he finishes eating. It seems that they have reached another impasse. Tonight will not be the night when they finally discuss the fact that Loki is a frost giant. Everything had clicked together inside Thor’s head when Odin told him the story after Loki’s fall. Upon learning the truth, Thor not only understood Loki’s desperate attempts to destroy Jotunheim, he understood why Loki had always seemed different in their youth, why his skin was cool to the touch, why Thor had never felt much guilt over their incestuous relationship. He wondered if he had always known, deep inside, that they were not brothers by blood, for he had never desired Tyr or Baldr the way he wanted Loki.

But it seems that Loki is still not ready to have this conversation, and the cold is seeping past his toes and into his legs, so Thor sighs and turns to lie on the hard rock floor.

“That’s it?” Loki’s velvety voice cuts through the air, “You give up so easily, _Odinson_?”

“I will not fight with you Loki,” Thor replies, resting his head on his pack, “And you seem resolved to let me freeze, so what am I to do about it?”

Loki rises abruptly, taking a few steps toward Thor, “What are you to do? What you always do, yell and demand and inflict injury until you get what you want.”

Thor remains prone, gazing at the wall rather than Loki, “You wish for me to beat you? You aren’t worth the effort.”

Without warning, Loki is over him, kicking him swiftly in the gut twice before stepping backward out of his reach.

“Argh,” Thor grunts, sitting up, his furious blue eyes finally finding Loki’s. Despite the darkness, he can see the glint of green eyes as moonlight streams through the openings in their cave, “What do you want? Spit it out and be done. I have no patience for this ridiculous game you constantly play.”

“I’m glad to know that Odin’s millennium of lying about my birth is but a game to you.”

“Do not twist everything I say,” Thor says darkly, rising to his feet, “You know that is not the game I speak of. You forget that I was lied to as well, that I knew not of your birth and only found out after I thought you were dead.”

“Well, excuse me while I shed a tear for _your_ imagined slights.”

Thor advances toward him, grasping him by the shoulders, trying to ignore the rising of his cock at being this close to that beautiful naked chest.

“Why do you insist on acting this way?" Thor says, "You have always been skilled with words. I’m sure you always know my true meaning and yet you willfully misinterpret me. Why?”

“And why do you ask questions that you already know the answers to?”

Thor pushes him away with enough violence that he trips and almost falls. His eyes are green feral slits when he rebalances and looks up at Thor. He opens his mouth to speak, more lies presumably, but Thor is finished with the game.

“Of course, Odin’s lies have been worse for you,” Thor says, holding Loki’s gaze, “But will you never believe that I mourned you, that I missed you?”

“Missed having someone to blame for everything? Missed having the darkness upon which your light could shine brighter?”

“Do not spout your own opinions about yourself and claim them to be mine,” Thor’s voice is a deep angry rumble. His emotions, held in check for too many days, rise dangerously to the surface.

Loki lets out an incredulous laugh but says nothing. The cold fury has left his face, replaced by disbelief. It is the crack in Loki’s shield that Thor has been waiting for, the crack that he intends to rip apart.

“I was furious at Father when he told me,” Thor says.

“Why? Because you had been raised to believe a monster was your brother?”

“Loki—“

“Or because you had unknowingly let a monster into your bed?”

“Enough!” Thor yells, “I was angry that father raised me to believe that the Jotnar were my enemy, never knowing that my own brother was one of them, the brother I loved above all others.”

“There is that word again, _love._ You throw it around as if it is real, as if it has meaning.”

“Because the love I have for you is real, Loki.”

“The love you have for a monster, you mean?” Loki says, twirling his fingers through the air until a small green flame hovers above his upturned palm, “It is easy to love a monster when he wears the skin of a god, is it not, Thor?”

Thor opens his mouth to respond but before he can, Loki throws the flame toward the center of the cave, where it flares into a roaring fire, no longer green but white. Thor has seen Loki produce flames countless times and they are always green, because the essence of his _seidr_ is green. Thor furrows his brow in confusion, tearing his eyes from the flames and looking at his brother.

His breath catches in his throat and his heart patters violently. Before him stands Loki but not Loki, tangled black hair framing his blue face, red eyes glaring at Thor. Faint ridges run across his forehead and cheeks, swirling down his exposed chest and arms. Of course, Loki has created a white flame so that Thor can see exactly how blue his true flesh is. 

Thor’s eyes widen involuntarily in surprise. His body begins to shake and his breathing hitches. By the way Loki tilts his head downward, Thor knows what Loki is thinking: that Thor is afraid, repulsed, and disgusted. He needs to speak, to reassure Loki that he does not feel these things, but the words lodge in his throat. Knowing that someday he would see Loki’s jotun form, he had tried to prepare, but the reality is something he could never have prepared for. It is Loki, but not Loki. It is his brother, same lithe body and smooth hairless skin, but painted with the colors of his worst enemy.

Thor’s throat constricts painfully and he takes an unconscious step backward.

The anger in Loki’s face morphs into pain, for only a millisecond, so brief that he probably doesn’t realize that Thor sees it. It breaks Thor’s heart, but before he can react, Loki’s mouth twists with rage, more vicious than Thor has ever seen.

“Seems I’m not the only liar in the family, _brother_ ,” Loki hisses, stepping toward Thor, who manages to hold still even though basic instinct tells him to retreat in the face of such blind anger.

Loki reaches up slowly and draws his index finger across Thor’s cheek, burning an angry path of frostbite across his skin. Thor gasps and jerks away, having forgotten that Loki truly is a jotun and that therefore his touch would injure. Despite this blue-skinned version of his brother, until that painful touch Thor had still considered this to be the façade. But this is real. The alabaster skin and green eyes are the façade.

“See, your perfect aesir flesh cannot even tolerate the monster’s touch. So evil that it burns you,” Loki whispers, leaning in but being careful not to touch Thor again, “This is what I am. This is what you claim to love, but, oh, how the truth of that lie shows on your face right now for all of the realms to see.”

Loki affords him one last cold look before turning to walk away. And finally Thor has the strength to move. He reaches out and grabs Loki’s arm, the palm of his hand instantly searing with frostbite and pulls Loki back, tilting his lips downward to capture Loki’s.

“Thor, what are you—“ Loki gasps, realizing Thor’s intent right before their lips meet. Thor closes his eyes and braces for the freezing pain, but all he feels are Loki’s soft pliable lips before he plunges his tongue into that hot mouth, laying claim.

Thor pulls away, breathing hard and finds Loki’s green eyes looking at him with shock, open and devoid of mischief. Thor’s palm still aches from where he holds Loki’s arms, but that too has returned to its creamy white color, and the pain is beginning to recede.

“So your desire to hurt me is not as great as you claim, Loki.”

Tears are forming at the corners of Loki’s eyes and he laughs, trying to regain his composure, but his previous rage is already too lost for him to grip it.

“And yet, you’ve forced me to shed my true form. You’ve forced me to look like you want me to look,” Loki whispers, still overcome with emotion, “Was that your intent in laying your hands on me, Thor?”

Thor smiles wickedly and cups his other hand across the back of Loki’s neck, relishing the way Loki leans into the touch without meaning to.

“I kissed you because I wanted to,” he says, tightening his grip on Loki’s arm despite the pain that shoots through his frostbitten hand, “Because you are mine. Searing flesh is a small price to pay to make you understand that.”

“You’re mad,” Loki whispers, still too surprised for cruelty, although Thor knows it will come.

“From you, I will take that as a compliment,” Thor mutters, leaning in to kiss his brother’s mouth, but Loki stops him with a light hand on his armored chest. He smiles and for a second, Thor thinks that he has won, that he has broken through the armor that surrounds Loki’s heart.

“Nothing you say or do here will change the fact that when we get to that palace, I will kill your little whore,” Loki says.

Love dissolves into rage, not for the vulgarity of Loki’s words, but because Loki insists on tainting every beautiful moment Thor might share with him. For a second Thor had forgotten about Jane, lost in this moment with his brother, the enigmatic swirling God of Chaos who he will always be drawn to. For a moment, he had forgotten that they will eventually find Jane and Malekith and Mother, and Thor will lose any ground he has gained in his battle to win Loki back.

Thor’s left hand, resting gently across the back of Loki’s neck, clamps painfully in those dark curls and pulls, exposing Loki’s porcelain neck. Thor smiles in satisfaction at Loki’s hiss of pain, before bending down to suck and bite marks into the flesh. Before this night is over, Loki will know who he belongs to because his entire body will be marked with ownership, starting with that delicate neck.

Loki groans at the touch, sparking a fire of desire in Thor. His previous chill is lost in the heat of need as he tears frantically at his armor, his cape, and his vambraces. He needs to feel Loki’s cool skin against his heated flesh. Loki’s hunger seems to match his as they both frantically work to remove Thor’s clothes. Loki loosens the ties of his breeches as Thor sheds his breastplate and shirt. Before Thor can center his swirling thoughts, Loki’s clever hands are reaching under his pants, brushing along his thighs until finally wrapping around his large solid length.

Thor moans and buries his head in the crook of Loki’s neck, sucking and biting, desperate to claim any flesh he can find while Loki strokes him. He hooks his fingers along the seam of Loki’s pants and pushes them down his hips and toward the floor. Again Jane and Malekith, Asgard and Midgard slide out of Thor’s brain like sand as his mind pulses with only one word: _mine._

He takes hold of Loki’s hair again, kissing a trail toward his mouth, but before he can capture that wet heat, Loki is slapping him hard across the face and pushing him to the ground. Surprised, Thor falls hard onto the stone surface, barely able to slide his hands beneath him to cushion his fall. Red-hot rage replaces desire. Loki is his and he will not be denied that luscious mouth. He reaches for Loki, but he slips through Thor’s fingers like the wind, just out of reach.

“Brother, stop,” Thor growls, sitting up. He needs to feel Loki’s flesh against his. He has no patience for these ridiculous games.

Loki grins and pounces on Thor’s legs, pulling his boots and leggings off with lightning speed, greedily taking in the sight of Thor’s naked body.

“Do you really wish me to stop?” he purrs crawling on hands and knees up Thor’s prone body until he is straddling him, their faces inches apart. He takes Thor’s cock in his hand again and pumps it slowly.

“Yes,” Thor says, flipping Loki and trapping him beneath his bulky body. He savors the look of surprise that flits across Loki’s face.

“Stop pushing me away,” Thor murmurs, hooking his lips over Loki’s nipple and sucking hard enough to elicit a gasp.

“Stop acting as if I am nothing,” Thor says as he sucks a line of maroon bruises down Loki’s abdomen.

“Stop claiming that you do not love me,” Thor whispers, brushing his lips along Loki’s hardened length.

Loki whimpers, “Never.”

Thor lifts his gaze up, savoring the glazed lustful look in Loki’s green eyes. Suddenly, without warning Thor wishes that they were red, surrounded by blue skin. The desire surprises him since he has always loved Loki’s eyes, his favorite shade of green in all of the realms, and yet…they aren’t his real eyes.

Loki’s brow furrows, “Thor?”

Thor shakes his head to dispel these thoughts and licks a trail up Loki’s cock, making him throw his head back with a throaty moan.

“You are mine,” Thor whispers, biting bruises into Loki’s inner thighs, “Say it.”

“Never,” Loki replies, crying out when Thor bites him just a little too hard.

“Mine,” Thor says through clenched teeth.

Loki lifts his head, his eyes dancing with mischief, “Never.”

Thor keeps his eyes on Loki’s as he slowly slides two fingers into his mouth, making them wet with spit. He trails his moist fingers along Loki’s entrance, never breaking eye contact.

“If you are not mine than I do not need to claim you, to draw every last groan from your mouth, to stretch you wide with my cock. Do I?”

Loki’s eyes squint. He is panting with need, refusing to reply.

“Beg me,” Thor says, roughly.

“Never,” Loki says.

Thor clucks his tongue in reprimand and smiles, “Is that the only word you know? I grow bored with that response, so perhaps you should try another.”

“And what would you desire,” the bite has returned to his words, “That I moan sweetly and beg like your mortal bitch?”

The words are meant to cut, but Loki is still off-kilter and Thor can hear the hurt behind them. He moves slowly up Loki’s body until they are face to face, simply staring into each other’s eyes.

When Thor speaks, his voice is low and warm, “Seeing as it is you who continues to mention my mortal, perhaps you are the one who is obsessed with her.”

Thor doesn’t miss the look of triumph that clouds Loki’s eyes. It is the first time that Thor hasn’t referred to Jane by name, but it seems disrespectful to speak of her while Loki lies naked beneath him. He tries not to think too long about why he wishes to forget her in this moment, why he wishes to forget everything except Loki. His wayward brother has always had this effect on him and Thor suspects that he always will.

“And when we find her, Thor, should I show her how you’ve marked me, right before I steal the light from her eyes forever?”

Thor’s mouth hardens, but he remains silent, hoping that Loki merely needs to get these cruel, jealous words out of his system.

“Or perhaps, I should mark you,” Loki whispers tracing his finger along the darkened flesh of Thor’s cheek where he burned him with his jotun touch, “Paint you with the mark of the monster for all of the realms to see.”

Thor doesn’t break eye contact, “If that is what you truly desire, then I welcome it.”

He lifts himself from Loki’s body and lies on his side next to him, close but not touching. Loki’s eyes are bright with surprise right before the green dissolves into red, and his glowing white skin darkens to blue. He stares at Thor for a moment, searching for any sign of fear or disgust in the Thunderer’s face, but Thor is ready this time. He will not make the same mistake. 

He turns to lie on his back, drinking in the sight of his brother’s true form, the deep-blue skin of a jotun. He was wrong before to think that this is not Loki. His flesh is still flawless, his eyes are still quick and expressive, and his fingers are still elegant as they hover over Thor’s chest. Even before they touch him, he can feel the cold radiating from them. He wonders if, in time, Loki could learn to use his _seidr_ to touch Thor in this form without freezing him. 

Thor’s cock hardens as images of taking his jotun brother fill his mind. Loki’s red eyes gazing up at him as Thor fucks his throat. Loki writhing beneath him as Thor traces each swirling blue ridge with his tongue.

Thor breathes out, knowing that his brother can see the obvious lust in his eyes, “Please, Loki.”

Loki paints a trail of frostbite across Thor’s chest and the world dissolves into freezing pain. Everything else ceases to exist except the agony of that cold blue finger and the wide, red eyes that hold Thor’s gaze.

Instinct tells Thor to push Loki away, to stop the pain. It would be easy enough to do, but Thor can sense that this is a test from Loki, a test he intents to pass after all of the tests he has failed. Loki _wants_ to see the disgust in Thor’s eyes. He wants Thor to verify his own fears that he truly is a monster who will never be loved. So, Thor accepts the pain, panting and writhing but never looking away from those crimson eyes until they finally turn back to green and Loki’s touch no longer burns.

“You are such an idiot,” Loki says, but there is no maliciousness in his tone. Rather, his voice is filled with wonder.

Thor looks down to find a beautiful, almost artistic pattern of black marks across his chest and abdomen. Loki’s mark.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Thor says gruffly, tossing Loki unceremoniously onto his back and capturing his mouth in a possessive kiss. When Loki tries to draw back, tries to regain control, Thor presses his full weight into the smaller god’s body, holding his head in place and ravishing his mouth. He steals Loki’s protests, shoving them back down his throat until they turn into delicious moans. Only then does he pull back, satisfied to find Loki’s mouth flushed and his eyes lidded.

“Since Father left you with your _seidr_ perhaps you can conjure something to slicken the way,” Thor mutters, reaching down to take Loki’s cock in his uninjured hand.

Panting and needy, Loki manages a faint smirk, “You think you will have me tonight, Odinson? You think I will simply let you claim me?”

Thor bites into his shoulder until he is screaming and squirming away, but he will not escape. He cannot beat Thor on brute strength, and Thor remembers this game well, how Loki liked to fight him merely to feel the full power of his fury. Thor can feel the lightning crackling beneath his skin. He will soon be beyond tenderness…if he ever had any in the first place.

“You may be slippery, Loki, but I can hold you. No matter what, I _will_ have you this night, as many times as I must to slake my need, but it is your choice whether I take you dry or not.”

Thor holds Loki’s wrists above his head and laps his tongue along the seam of his brother’s lips.

Loki stills finally, waving his fingers as much as he is able, since they are trapped under Thor’s hands, and a small vial appears on the floor next to them. Thor releases him tentatively, waiting for Loki to lash out, but he doesn’t. He is merely watching Thor with unreadable eyes.

“How many have you had?” Loki asks, his voice so quiet that Thor cannot focus on anything else.

“How many _what_ have I had?”

“How many have you had since me?” Loki asks, his body completely still and taut. There is vulnerability in his eyes, and Thor takes a deep breath before answering. This entire situation could shatter and break with Thor’s answer. He could lose any progress he has made during this journey to convince Loki that he is loved.

“A couple dozen,” Thor replies quietly, “mostly courtesans.”

“The mortal?” 

“Nay.”

“Men?”

“Nay.”

“Why?” Loki’s voice is but a whisper.

“Loki,” Thor murmurs, wanting to caress his cheek but choosing not to. Loki would see it as overly sentimental and pull away, “You are the only man I take to bed.”

“Why have you not bedded the mortal?” Loki’s voice is harder.

“Must you ask this now?”

Loki turns his eyes away, closing himself off from Thor, “Let me go. I do not want this.”

“No,” Thor says huskily, kissing Loki’s jaw even though he tenses under the touch.

“I will change back into a jotun and freeze your entire body if you do not release me this minute.”

“Jane helped me when I was helpless,” Thor mutters, holding Loki down even though he tries to struggle, “She is a kind woman and I care for her.”

“Let…me…go,” Loki says, still not meeting Thor’s eyes.

“She is in danger because of me,” Thor continues, “And that is why I go to such lengths to save her. It is my fault that she is in pain right now and I must do what I can to right this wrong. But you forget, Loki, why I traveled to Midgard without the Bifrost. Who was my singular focus when I was there? Was it Jane?”

Loki remains silent. Thor shakes him violently, “Was it?”

Finally Loki turns his head to look at Thor, and the raw pain in his eyes causes Thor’s breath to stutter. For the first time in years, he can see into Loki’s soul, and it is a lost and broken thing.

“You came to Midgard to save _it_ , not to save me.”

“Save _you_?” Thor asks, “What did you need saving from? You were the one killing people and trying to rule a planet.”

“I screamed for you Thor, and you never came,” Loki says, tears welling in his eyes.

“What are you talking about?”

“He was powerful. It took me so long to convince him that I had a purpose, beyond being another soul to torment. I called for you until my voice was hoarse, but you did not come.”

Thor’s heart breaks and he sits up, releasing his hold on Loki.

“You mean after you fell from the Bifrost?” Thor whispers, “But you would not even tell Odin where you were during that year.”

“Why would I tell Odin anything?” Loki hisses.

“Loki,” Thor murmurs, kissing him so softly on the lips that Loki whimpers and pushes him away. But Thor won’t let him go. He wraps a hand around Loki’s neck and coaxes his mouth open with delicate swipes of his tongue. Loki is crying, but Thor keeps kissing him. Thor has always been a physical creature, better able to express himself with his body than his words, and despite all of Loki’s protestations, Thor knows that he understands. Besides, Loki would simply throw those three little words back in Thor’s face if he said them.

It takes minutes for Loki to finally kiss him back, to wrap his hands around Thor’s neck and drag him closer until it seems that every part of their bodies is touching.

“You didn’t come,” Loki murmurs, when Thor bends to kiss his neck.

“I couldn’t hear you, Loki,” Thor whispers, “If I had heard you, I would have come. I swear it.”

“You didn’t come,” Loki repeats, his fingers gripping Thor’s hair too tightly to drag him up for another kiss. And now Loki is in control, marking Thor, punishing him, sucking the breath out of him until he feels light-headed.

Without realizing it, Thor’s hand is wrapped around Loki’s hardened length, stroking him roughly, drawing stuttered gasps from his throat. Thor pulls back slightly to look at his brother, frightened by the immense pain he still sees in those eyes.

“You are mine,” he whispers, holding Loki’s gaze, “Until Ragnorak, when the sky rips apart and Hel opens her gates.”

He opens the vial beside them, coating the fingers of his injured hand and plunging two of them into Loki’s heat.

Loki’s head falls to the stone ground with a thump and he cries out and arches into the intrusion.

“And even after, when Hel beckons you through her gates, I will follow and spend the rest of eternity burning in the dragon’s fire with you.”

He is pumping Loki furiously, adding a third finger and reveling in the way Loki’s eyes snap shut and he worries his lower lip between his teeth.

“Because you are mine, Loki, mine.”

Loki is a panting, writhing mess, his marble skin gleaming in the moonlight, marked with dozens of bites and bruises. He is the most beautiful thing Thor has ever seen.

Thor pulls his fingers from Loki, causing those green eyes to snap open at the sudden loss, but Thor has been without this pleasure for too long and he can wait no longer. Before Loki can utter a word, Thor is pushing his massive length through that tight ring of muscle, stretching Loki wide. There is a moment in which it must hurt, because Loki grips Thor’s arms tightly and whimpers. But Thor refuses to stop. _This_ is Loki’s punishment for fighting him on the Bifrost, for letting go of Gungnir, for being so lost in the cosmos that Thor could not find him. Thor pushes until he is buried to the hilt, and only then does he stop to capture Loki’s chin and force his brother to look at him.

Loki’s eyes are wide with a mixture of pain and hunger, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he tries to steady his ragged breaths.

“You are mine,” Thor’s voice is low, “Say it.”

But this is Loki, the God of Lies, and Thor knows that he has still not earned that admission. He must break his brother just a bit more. Loki whimpers in response and moves his hips deliciously, making Thor forget words as he begins to rut into his brother.

He is lost in that tight heat, so lost that he barely notices as Loki’s fury returns and he rakes his fingernails across Thor’s back, barely notices when Loki bends up to bite any flesh that he can reach. 

Thor simply rides him faster and harder, determined to fuck him into submission, holding his hips in place as he drives into to him without thought for Loki’s welfare.

And finally his brother is speaking, although he still refuses to say the words that Thor is determined to wring from his lying tongue.

“Is that all that the God on Thunder can manage? I remember you being a much better fuck than his, Thor? I remember that you could drive me into oblivion, but apparently that mortal bitch really has softened you with her delicate quim.”

“Shut up,” Thor yells, “I have already told you that I have not bedded her, so just stop your lying tongue.”

Loki laughs wickedly, his previous tears and honesty slipping away to be filled with condescension once again. Thor knows that Loki will always retreat back into lies and mockery, but it still hurts when he does.

“Make me,” Loki gasps, still smiling.

Without warning, Thor pulls himself free of Loki’s heat, earning a whimper of annoyance from his brother before he is pulling him to his knees. Thor’s hand is a vise grip on Loki’s hair as he stands and thrusts his cock into Loki’s mouth, pleased when his brother moans and sucks him so hard it hurts. Thor watches, mesmerized, as Loki hollows his cheeks and dances his tongue along Thor’s length. His lips are stretched painfully wide, but Loki simply hums with contentment. The vibration sends a jolt down Thor’s cock that nestles inside his balls and makes his knees feel weak.

The sight is too delicious for Thor to be gentle. He intends to feel every inch of that warm mouth wrapped around him. He means to use Loki like they both crave, roughly and completely. Thor grasps Loki’s head, holding it in place as he slides his cock all of the way down Loki’s throat, until Loki is gagging and coughing. But Thor refuses to relent. His balls clench with need at the sight of brother’s perfect lips stretched around his cock, spit and precome dripping down Loki’s chin. 

Thor pulls out briefly, letting Loki take a breath and then he shoves himself back in, using his brother’s throat like it is a whore’s pussy. And still Loki’s eyes are laughing with triumph as he chokes. Thor knows why. Loki likes to think that he is dragging Thor into the darkness with him, that by forcing Thor into this violent coupling he is debasing Thor. But on this, Loki has always been wrong. Loki looks too beautiful and gleeful choking on Thor’s cock for him to ever regret this.

Finally, he pulls out, dragging his brother’s head up by his soft, dark hair. Loki is breathing hard, but smiling.

“You are mine,” Thor says. 

Loki stares back and chuckles, making Thor’s blood boil. After everything that they have said to each other tonight, after everything that they have shown each other, still Loki denies the truth. He has shown Thor his true skin, admitted that it was Thor’s name that he called out during his darkest moments, and yet he will never give Thor this. He will never tell Thor how deeply his love runs, that he belongs to Thor as Thor belongs to him.

And Thor does belong to Loki, no matter how many maidens, courtesans, and mortals he beds. They are nothing to Loki, his lost jotun brother who he will chase through the cosmos until the end of time.

With rage rippling underneath his skin, Thor flips Loki onto his stomach, disregarding his brother’s continued laughter. He pulls Loki’s hips up, burying himself once again in that supple ass. Finally Loki stops chuckling, stops making any sounds other than sobs and moans as Thor pounds him violently. He knows that Loki will bear the marks of this coupling tomorrow, the imprints of Thor’s large fingers on his hips, and the knowledge drives Thor deeper into the throws of ecstasy.

Loki belongs to him whether he admits it or not.

Thor reaches around and tugs roughly on Loki’s cock, making him cry out.

“Please, Thor,” he gasps, the first sign that he is breaking.

“Please what, Loki?”

“Please….yes.”

Thor chuckles, proud to reduce the God of Lies to a simpering mess, to finally stop that wicked tongue.

“You _are_ mine,” Thor says thickly, feeling Loki’s muscles twitch around his cock as Loki accelerates toward release, “You always will be.”

Loki cries out, shaking and spent. In the afterglow of his orgasm, Loki's normally rigid body becomes loose and pliable and Thor uses him mercilessly, fucking him roughly as Loki rests his head on the stone floor and hums with each thrust.

“Harder,” he gasps, “Yes, Thor. Yes.”

And even though those aren’t the words that Thor longs to hear, they are enough to send him over the edge. He drives his cock completely into his brother’s tight heat and comes, feeling the world fade away until there is nothing except Loki.

His Loki.

He comes back to the world slowly, the ringing in his ears fading as he collapses beside his brother, pulling himself out and wrapping an arm around Loki’s chest.

Loki doesn’t push him away, still too sated and happy to remember that he claims to despise Thor. Instead he nestles back against Thor’s chest and sighs, swiping his fingers out and muttering a cleaning spell, removing the evidence of their coupling.

The rock floor is hard and uncomfortable, but Thor doesn’t want to move. The minute he moves the spell will be broken, and Loki will pull away, leaving Thor to sleep alone. After waiting for years to have Loki back, he isn’t ready to let him go just yet. So he holds him close, listening as his brother’s ragged breathing grows calm, waiting with dread for the moment when Loki will make the decision for Thor and pull away from him.

He waits and waits, but the moment never comes. Eventually he falls asleep between the flames of Loki’s fire, now green and crackling, and the cool skin of Loki’s back pressed against his chest.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Thor is alone in the morning, but the fire is still roaring and Loki has draped Thor’s red cape over him. Every part of his body hurts. He peels the cape back, groaning and checks the damage to his chest. The black frostbitten skin has lightened into maroon bruises during the night.

His head is pounding when he sits up and surveys the cave’s interior. Loki is nowhere to be seen. Thor’s heart flutters, and he is up, pulling on his breeches and boots and running out of the cave, disregarding his aching muscles and bones.

He fears that last night was all a trick. Loki has somehow figured out how to break Odin’s spell and he has escaped. Thor skids out onto the snowy hilltop.

He breathes a sigh of relief when he spots Loki, sitting cross-legged on a boulder, fully dressed and gazing at the rocky palace in the distance. Thor’s feet crunch loudly on the snow as he walks toward him, noticing how Loki’s shoulders tense slightly at the intrusion.

Thor wants to speak, but he knows from centuries of experience how Loki hates to be interrupted when deep in thought. So, he waits, for so many minutes that he begins to shiver, wishing that he had donned his entire uniform rather than just his pants.

He has decided to return to the cave and dress when Loki finally speaks, not taking his eyes from the distant castle, “We can probably reach that second peak by tomorrow morning if we continue to walk through the night. Every fortress has a weakness. Once I locate theirs, we can sneak in tomorrow night and attack under the cover of darkness. Or would you prefer your standard strategy of mindlessly and loudly smashing things with your hammer?”

“I agree that we should sneak in at night.”

“Truly amazing," Loki replies sarcastically, “The honorable God of Thunder deems my underhanded plan of attack to be anything other than cowardly."

Thor sighs. Obviously, Loki is going to act like last night did not happen. He is going to act like he didn’t open up to Thor and tell him his secrets. But Thor is too tired to fight right now.

“I never answered your question yesterday,” Thor says. That gets Loki’s attention. His head whips back, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“What question?” Loki’s face is guarded and worried. Thor can see Loki’s mind racing behind his eyes, trying to remember if he asked Thor a personal question in the throws of passion.

“You asked if I had to choose between saving Jane’s life or Mother’s, who would I choose.”

Loki’s face relaxes and he turns back to look at the castle.

“I hope that if they are both in danger, you will save Mother for me,” Thor says.

Loki doesn’t reply or move, and Thor sighs again.

“Do _you_ plan to let Mother die, Loki?”

“I will answer your question when you answer mine.”

Thor gazes down at his injured palm, reddish black from when he grabbed Loki’s jotun arm. He sincerely hopes that he will not need to decide between Jane and Mother, but it is a valid question.

“Mother,” Thor whispers, “If Mother were to die it would destroy me, Father, Asgard…you. I cannot let her die, but I plan to save both of them…with your help.”

“And if I don’t help?” Loki asks.

“Then why did you come?”

“To escape,” Loki answers simply and Thor knows it is the truth, “It seemed easier to escape from this journey than from Asgard.”

“If you think it easy to escape Odin’s bindings, then why did you not simply leave in the night while I slept?”

Loki chuckles and finally turns, elegantly extending his legs and slipping off of the boulder. He steps lightly toward Thor, coming to a stop inches away and running his fingertips across the swirling wounds he gave Thor last night.

“I will,” he promises, “ _After_ I save Mother…because you will let me escape, Thor.”

Thor knows he should be angry at the accusation, but warmth blooms in his chest instead. This is as close to an admission of love for their mother as Thor expects to hear from Loki. 

“You know that Odin would have preferred to bind my _seidr_ ,” Loki continues, still running his fingers along Thor’s bare chest, sending shivers up his spine, “He would have preferred to strip me of my magic, but even Odin is not so cruel as to send his traitor son into battle without his greatest weapon. That is why he bound me to you instead, his golden, honest, trustworthy son. Bound me so that I could not leave your side.”

“I know the spell he cast, Loki, I was there.”

Loki smiles again as if this is a game, because to him it is. Thor begins to wonder if last night was part of the game, if every word and look and gasp of ecstasy was a lie. Perhaps Loki wasn’t even tortured after his fall from the Bifrost and that was simply another lie meant to manipulate Thor’s heart. 

“True,” Loki replies, “But since you are unversed in the ways of _seidr_ , did you know that not even Odin has the power to bind me to you without your consent? Did you know that you can release me from this binding merely by wishing it?” 

“And why would I release you?” Thor asks, his eyes glancing down to Loki’s soft lips for a second. Loki notices and swipes his tongue across them.

“I could lie and say that you will let me escape because I will hold a blade to your mortal’s neck and threaten to end her life. I could lie and say that you will release me in order to save her. But, that is not why you will do it.”

Thor’s body is heavy with disappointment. He had hoped that Loki was lying when he repeatedly threatened Jane’s life during their journey, but now he knows the truth. Once he saves Jane from Malekith, he must continue to protect her from his own brother. 

“You will release me because you know what awaits me back in Asgard,” Loki continues, “Another century in that sterile prison as the citizens of Asgard mock and censure the jotun traitor.”

“It will not be like that, Loki. If you help me save Mother and Jane, Father will pardon you,” Thor protests, but even he can’t believe the words as they escape his mouth. Loki’s eyes warm to see his golden brother caught in a blatant lie. Odin had promised Loki a century of imprisonment after their return from Midgard and Thor knows his father well enough to know that he will honor this original promise. Loki will receive no pardon.

Thor leans into Loki’s touch.

“I won’t lose you,” he mutters, defeated.

Loki’s mouth lifts into a smile right before he tilts his head and kisses Thor softly and sweetly. It makes Thor’s heart ache, because Loki is never soft and sweet.

“And that is why you will let me escape,” Loki whispers with a sad smile, “Why you will release me from Odin’s spell. You will do it because you know, Thor, that you cannot deliver me back to that prison and _not_ lose me. You know that a century in that cell will destroy me. You know it.”

“You’re lying,” Thor mutters, tears blooming in his eyes, “You are trying to manipulate me, just like you always do. You are trying to fool me into letting you go.”

“Think that if you must, but you when the time comes, you will admit the truth to yourself and let me go. But to ease your decision, I will hold a blade to your mortal’s throat. You can tell yourself that you are doing it merely to save her, but we will both know the truth.”

“No,” Thor says, finally grasping Loki’s arms and pulling him into a tight hug, “No.”

“We will know that it was your love, your weak pathetic love that allowed me to escape.”

“No,” Thor murmurs again, trying to convince himself that Loki is wrong. But still the memory floods into his mind, of his brother held in a glass case like one of Odin’s relics. It had pained him to see Loki like that and he worries that another 99 years alone in that glass case will harden Loki’s heart beyond repair. He worries that Loki may become so lost in his violent vengeance that not even Thor will be able to reach him.

“What did you compare me to all of those years ago, Thor? The wind?”

Thor smiles at the memory as a tear slides down his cheek. He holds Loki tighter.

“Remember what you said to Odin when he decided to banish me to my room as punishment for one of my tricks. ‘You cannot hold the wind and Loki is the wind.’ I never knew that you had a poet’s tongue until that moment.”

“I’m fairly certain I haven’t said anything poetic since,” Thor says, making Loki laugh, a real laugh.

“But the mountain need not fear so,” Loki whispers, “Because although he cannot hold the wind, it will always return to him.”

Thor pulls back and sees Loki’s eyes gleaming with unshed tears and he fears that Loki is right. He fears that he will choose Loki over everything, over Mother, Jane, and the safety of the Nine Realms. He fears that he will release his chaotic, unpredictable brother because he cannot stand to see him locked in a cage. 

Because Loki _is_ the wind.

He captures Loki’s lips with his own, plunging his tongue into Loki’s mouth and finding it welcoming and warm. He knows his brother’s body as well as his own, but still he feels the need to memorize the taste of his mouth, the softness of his hair, the taut lines of his muscles. He never wants to stop, but Loki pulls back and steps away.

“We still have a long way to walk,” Loki murmurs, thoughtful and morose, “You better get dressed.”

Thor nods numbly and heads back into the cave, pulling his armor on slowly. Loki has extinguished the fire and Thor bends down for one brief moment to brush his fingers along the stone floor where they slept. It is a small, craggy cave, not special in any way, but Thor wants to memorize every rocky curve and every moment of their time together. 

He rises and walks with heavy footsteps out of the cave, following his brother into the snowy valley below.

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to note that although Odin touched baby!Loki's jotun skin, for the purposes of this story, I am imagining that Odin's magic saved him from frostbite in that scene. And one day, Loki's magic can probably save Thor from frostbite too...when Loki isn't in the mood to hurt him.
> 
> The title of this story comes from a poem by David Whalen.


End file.
